Is It Okay to Drink Around Newly Sober Friends and Family?

1) I tell myself to CHILL THE FUCK OUT about other people drinking and don’t let my thoughts start endlessly looping about how hard it can be to be around people whose brains are under the influence. I  don’t judge any of my family for drinking, I get what the appeal is. That being I am infinitely more happy, calm and grounded now that I am no longer necking wine like it’s going out of fashion. It’s everything you’d imagine a big family gathering to be. Chaos and fun and laughter and catching up and lots of chats and entertaining kids and activities and stuff. Every day at 5 o’clock the drinks come out  (sometimes at lunch too), and it continues through the evening.

Alcohol and loneliness can create a cycle that’s hard to break. Often, people drink to relieve feelings of loneliness or to distract themselves from those feelings. ” You want to learn how to have fun without drinking, and that’s how you ended up here. When your boundaries are clear, make them known to your loved one. Hold those boundaries firm, even if they are tested by the person suffering from addiction. Doing so will help prevent resentment, encourage empathy, and support sobriety.

After a couple of cocktails, drunks get real.

It wasn’t just a crutch anymore; it had completely wiped out my ability to socialize and connect with people. I didn’t think I was interesting or cool enough for people to desire my company solely on the merits of my personality. Drinking made me feel like I had a valuable place in a group. I am alone on an island in my lucid state, and they are off in a world of blurry laughter. In a study that followed 94 moderate-heavy drinkers who gave up alcohol for a month, participants experienced improvements in insulin resistance, blood pressure, and weight, compared to their peers who did not abstain. In addition to the benefits to the liver, giving up alcohol can result in a number of other health benefits—which are also thought to be due to decreasing levels of alcohol and acetaldehyde in the body.

Your friend or loved one might want that constant consideration. They might appreciate you asking if it’s okay to have a drink each time the option presents itself. You’ll have to know your own loved being sober around drinkers one and approach the situation accordingly. Put some thought into figuring out if you think your loved one wants that constant consideration or if they would feel singled out because of it.

One month can also offer insight…

I think a lot of family members, friends and loved ones all wonder if it is okay to drink alcohol around a person who is a recovering alcoholic. I know that when I first came into recovery, my parents tried their best to shield me from being around any drinking that they could. There were many times that I remember going to restaurants with my parents in early recovery and they would insist to the restaurant staff that we do not sit close to the bar. This was obviously an attempt by my parents to try and protect their son from a relapse. What it really did was make me feel awkward and that I had to insist to my parents that it was not a problem for me to be around other people that felt like drinking alcohol.

But quitting alcohol can also result in loneliness for many people due to factors such as decreased social opportunities and strained relationships. For some people, drinking alcohol is a big part of many social situations. It can be difficult to meet friends and family without being around alcohol, and that can lead to loneliness after quitting. If you’re like most drinkers, you’ve likely surrounded yourself at some point with a group of people who also drink. I’d argue that many of us gravitated to a group of friends who have drinking habits that align with our own, and we did this because we didn’t want sober friends. It’s been over six years since I first started seriously questioning my relationship with alcohol and considered a life without it.

…and change your drinking habits

The point of all this, don’t forget, is to enjoy the holidays. How those in recovery and those who care about them navigate this with at least some degree of comfort, is highly varied. This may require opening new lines of communication that brings you out of your comfort zone. Speaking to other families or friends who have gone through this is likely to yield many more strategies and ideas if you are struggling with what to do. Additionally, if everyone around you is drinking, abstaining from doing so yourself can be subtle–but meaningful–support. It can feel awkward being the only person in a group or a room who’s sober and intends on staying that way.